when life relentlessly banters the both, or either one of the two v.i.p.s in my life, it's harsh and tormenting tests, tis is when i make my solemn, tender retreat : |

i said i 'wash my hands off' 'em, but as a daughter, it's natural that i still think a lot fer my beloved parents. i am someone's wife now. i am taken. my dad is no more responsible over me. so i turn to my beloved hubby that he may recite supplications fer me, himself and my family. daily, thus far, and i hope tis shall continue, i'd tell him to remember his parents and siblings too in his prayers. de other creations of ALLAH, inclusive.

heaven's no more at my mom's feet, de one who carried me fer nine months. my heaven's under my hubby's feet now. it is vital that he approves of the very supplications and hopes i have fer myself and others, including my beloved parents, which is why i have chosen to confide in him.

oh ALLAH, i know You Know my plight : | Make me calm and contented pls DEARIE. HUNNY, i thank You.

skirtysitisifu1710 : )

dear dairi

in my dreams i went shoppin' at Giant and IKEA. i was all alone enjoyin my time then after a visit to the loo to wash my hands, i bumped into my folks and ma sis's family. i did not see afiq though. anyway, my bro in-law was happy and delighted to see me. he even exclaimed my name *?*  and everyone looked at me in surprise as tho they did not expect to see me there, err... shoppin'. still, when din mentioned ma name, it didn't have any effect of excitement on my part so i took off shoppin' as per norm. for once, it felt as if i was at parkwayparade, but then hey...! there's no IKEA in parkway, hehehe... so t'was a dream faterall. psst dairi, hear tis >>> in between, i saw the guy who had visited me the night before. saya tak kenal beliau namun pemuda itu asyik memerhatikan saya. pemuda itu tampak tenang, ke'abang-abang'an, dan gentleman. he smiles a calm smile. he looks manjer too but not like imran ajmain. somewhat i prefer this guy's manjernez : ) siaperkah beliau ni? saya tak suka acquaint myself with strangers so i buat dek jek lah. still, how can he be a stranger when he had come to visit me de night before and we talked for quite some time? oh well, that reminds me of the time i diperkosa. this culprit came to me after my art class at bedok girls' school and said, "marilah ikut kita, kita ada teka-teki. awak nak main teka-teki dengan kita? marilah kita pergi sana" sambil dia menunjukkan ke arah kawasan di antara bedok boys' school dan bedok girls' school. sampai di situ, takde teka-teki pon? dia bersama seorang lagi pemuda. that's when he started touching me at my private part. saya seakan 'kenal' pemuda itu walau saya tak kenal dia. dia tinggal sekampung dengan keluarga saya di padang terbakar [now national laguna golf]. if i am not mistaken, nama dia 'remy', nama samaran lah tu [hey doesn't he share the same nick as my woodsville bf, najmuddin mohdar? his name's remy too. so what's wif de name 'remy', in ma life? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...! so eerie...!] neways, the culprit's brother was a good fella named akhbar, but he has passed away. i think he had a heart problem. my mom said he survived the first operation when everyone thot he could not make it. tho' not long afterwards, he passed away. so back to the culprit, who then made me feel upset coz it felt as tho i have lost something precious, the last i know abt him is that he is now staying at blk 116 bedok north rod. perhaps its the eight floor [can't remember, but it's the lift landing floor]. and he's always into nonsensical stuff like robbery, drugs... etc... i hate him. hey, i hope pemuda yang asyik memerhatikan saya dan datang menziarahi saya itu andai beliau orang baik-baik], dapat menjadi kawan saya and perhaps, my guardian angel to, hehehe : ) insyaALLAH, aameen ya Rabbi!

siti1710 aka someone's sweetpotaetoPOTARTO

ps : my cuzin, iskandar used to stay at the same block and same floor [116] but soon after his dad [my uncle, cikgu adnin ghani] passed away, he married his 1st wife and moved out. btw, cikgu adnin ghani terkena penganiayaan orang juga, dan meninggal kerna 'buatan' orang. malahan, in my family line, even my mom terkena 'buatan' ex bf dia [<<< was told but not too sure *?*] and my mom's mom [my grandma] terkena penganiayaan orang juga. i heard that the whole line of my grandma's family was 'cursed'. wallahualam. tu lah yang ader di kalangan makcik dan pakcik i tak kahwin-kahwin dan ader yang malas untuk bekerja dll... ntahlah, mula-mula sukar untuk i sendiri percaya tapi semakin i grow-up dan diri ini pula terkena penganiayaan, i mula faham. still, dalam kisah keluarga kami, yang i dapat tahu adalah, arwah datuk i dan our-ancestors-yang-tertentu, ada yang  'simpan orang'. so i gez t'was in the transition of hinduism and islam then. mix habits of  religion and culture outputs confusion. oh ya, menurut my mom, her mother's backward-line-of-generation was the bugis who had killed mahsuri dan tujuh keturunan mereka disumpah blah, blah, blah... however,  the last time we went to langkawi takder pulak sesiaper yang muntah darah oh watever. so i guess the spell's over?!!! newayz, my atuk sebelah my mom pon berbangsa bugis, tapi father i kata there are many types of bugis. my maternal grandma is 'bugis siak'. i pon tak tau... de details and specifics *?*

************************************************************

evening sms-es between ma hubby and me :

I am out to buy dina. i hate it whn my dad tinks he's king n starts nagging at me. like he tinks he ought to be given huge respect. dengan anak sendiri tak bley give n take but wif other ppl outside family mcm pijak semut tak mati. i dont hefta tell ALLAH. ALLAH IS OF TIPTOP SENSING. takde mood nak eat-in, huhhh! i benci!

Nanti kita makan chicken chop together-gether eh? i look forward for u to b home. the people around me fail me again n again! i wish ALLAH Send me a Guardian Angel *smiley smiles*

ok yang *smiley smiles*

Y do u tink i hate all tis 'melayu n their kinda attitude'? i don give a damn de person's younger. older or of de same age. and now we're seated at different table coz I CANT STAND HIM! juz a short whie ago he tries to whisper kind words to me. i m not de kind yg 'sejuk becoz of plastiksweet words'.

ok dee. i'm a tough cookie. no obligation but i hope u'd appreciate me. u're worlds apart from 'em *smiley smiles*

u're my darling wife and i am proud of u.. love u *smiley winks*

footnote : during hari raya, i did not hesitate to salam with aidilfitri greetings, sealed with words of 'maaf zahir batin' to ma lil nieces. their mom had warned de gurls dat it shud have been them saying 'maaf zahir batin' to me first but i cut in and said, "realli it doesnt matter if you're younger or older... needless to say who should initiate seeking forgivenez first!" and everyone stood there speechless. hey! it comes from de heart and i believe! i believe! i believe! that's exactly the spirit of human love and understanding!!! : )

satudalamseribu as song background [has been repeating fer who-knows how many times oredi, hehehe...]

footnote : we have to think of ways to finance such costs incurred like :
01. petrol
02. weekend-car coupon
03. parking fee[s]
04. general servicing & maintenance
05. accessories

of course i can get   f a s t   m o n $ y  easily.   afterall i am very much   c a p a b l e   of it.  deardairi, why do you think azmanabdulsamad had masterminded that 'prostitute shadow' in me? so i can 'sell' my body, haAahaAahaAa! syukur alhamduLILLAH walau dah jadi psikiatrik patient sekalipun, fikiran ini masih! lagi waras dan diri ini tetap! ada maruah!!! saya enggan! menjual diri saya : ) saya ada harga diri : )

si abg ipar i pulak, dia ni   n a k   free. tiap dia miang tackle-tackle i pon... i was thinking, kalau benar dia nak sangat kat i ni, mana boleh? adik-beradik haram! dijadikan madu apPper!!! dia ni mungkin takde 'prostitute shadow' buried in him but he willingly volunteers himself as 'my gigolo', hahaha!!!  i gheli!!!  t'ros trangs, i rasa cukop jijik! terhadap kepala hotak dia tu. cam gini jer lah... satu badhaAan dia tu i benci!!! i benciii!!! i bEnCi!!! nonetheless, kalau i kata kepada hafeezG bahwa sifu i kalah pada n*p*u, then abg ipar i mati akal!!! sekurang-kurangnya, sifu i masih ada 'rasa', walau i benci! cara   s i f u   i   [<<<huhhh!!!] melampiaskan n*p*u dia, huhhh! m'cam tak sabar-sabBbaAar... so what?!!! t'was the halal way?!!! kalau sifu i bersolat istikharah dan bersolat hajat   b e t u l - b e t u l ,   takkan mungkin sifu i tak dapat alamatnya? Mustahil! ALLAH Nak Tunjukkan sifu alamat yang salah? kalau dah nama dia jantan tu, janthaAan jugaAakKk!!!

*************************************************************

k, we had dina @ kartini [parkwayparade]. and de dina wasn't for free. i had a 'price' to pay. my mom nagged., nagged, nagged abt her probby havin' to still work in 2008. she spoke to afiq but 'canonned' at me. "by right,  i am s'pposed to be a retiree at tis age, and rest. i am not! s'pposed to be werkin' still..." hai dairi, saya   p r i h a t i n   akan ibu saya tapi dah berkali saya cuba, dan akhirnya hanya akan 'hampa' kerna saya   ' t i d a k   a k a n   D i B e n a r k a n '   untuk t'rus bekerja. mesti ada obstacle atau halangan, atau pun sangkak : | tapi sangkak yang benefitial to me;  sangkak untuk kebaikan diri i sendiri, u know wat i mean dairi? saya adalah permaisuri yang tidak patut bekerja, opps! hehehe... : )

< seronoknya mendengar album 'refleksi' agentZA1710, sambil sippin' cherry juice in between : ) i teringatkan imran ajmain skrang ni : P  ni satu singapura dah kehabisan stok album imran ajmain ni apPper ceritera?  newayz dairi : ) do i wait for mr * ... or do i go with donor no. 2? >

*   b o r d e r   m a c r o s   -   v i g n e t t e   b l u r   -   f r e e h a n d   a r t w o r k s   u n a l t e r e d  *
design artist : sitisifu

i respect individual views on art. i did CAD sometime back too but this very experience arrests me to niche back onto manual drawings. i am not! into computer-aided-drawings as it lacks personal touch and individual   t r a d e m a r k .

when man and machine collaborate, it works wonders, however as far as drawing is concerned,
man and machine produces a somewhat lackluster artwork, no matter how excellent de techniques were to be applied.
 

human are to produce masterpieces. for a machine to be the master, i shall refuse! to allow so.
do you apprehend the significance?

in my humble opinion, personally, of-cosh-b'gosh : )
C.T. LaSallean May
class92

dear dairi

yesterday i had a good time coz t'was myhubby's day off. we spent half the day together. the other half, we gave each other space to catch up with our own to-dos. we did not make it to some places due to unforseen circumstances. only t'day i realised that there might have been some disturbances. still, i do not! wish to be bothered tho i shall try to fight 'em de nex time around.

multiple incidents took place @ the studio t'day. t'was afta teez incidents, i remembered about yesterday and thot de same of it. t'day there were obstacles fer me but i wud rather see it as tests meant fer me. i am confident i have done my best to deal with 'em constructively. i am proud of my sincerity, and yes, i mean bisnez. i am lookin' forward to meet up abgY in de ofiz coz he promises to speak to me about my 'worries', in de morning. i like my colleague, abgY.  i like my boss too. MrS and MrY are very trustworthy people and matured ones, de very quality i have been lookin' fer in men. and of course myhunny tops the list, hiehiehie... : )

i had some sugee cookies with tea-wif-milk-plus-oat-milk-mix. veri dericious, mmmmmmmphhh...!

my dad dropped me off @ bedok central as i had to leave my shoes with the cobbler. i'm pickin' em up after eight later. hey, i really like de people. they are customer-friendly and helpful too. in our conversation, the owner had asked fer my advice re her shop's biz card, hiehiehie... and i think i can be friends wif 'em. i've added their company's data in my directory : ) de owner then told me how richard has help polio patients with their shoes' designs, hmmmph, i like waht he does. helpin' people is indeed noble : ) there's somethin' cute and trendy i boght there which i wanna show 'em to mahunny. i had thot of snappin' a shot of it and insert de photo here, but on second thots, i shall save 'em fer mysifu's eyes. can't wait to see dat wide smile on myhunny's face when he see teez! : ) hieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! so, biz ppl, u ought to be friendly to your potential customers too instead of juz thinkin' of generating profit. it's worth to adopt de g.e.m.s attitude of go that extra mile service. if not t'day, they might juz come bac anutha day, or have ur shop as their 'word-of-mouth[s]'. my best wishes to you : )

ps : dairi, i do NOT! wish to accuse mysifu but my black niteteddy went missing again. i mean, tis ok if it's wif masifu and no! he need not return it bac to me. i juz don't wan it to land into de wrong hands : | sayaaang, pls take note of tis. baju i [yang itu] dah terilangs lagiks... : | u amik ker sayang?

deardairi,

waktu saya tidur petang tadi, saya nampak dua wajah. imran ajmain dan mnasir. imran cuba untuk menghampiri saya namun dia beralih ke tepi bila manasir muncul di antara kami. imran tidak berkata apa-apa. imran tenang dan wajahnya sungguh! manja. tapi mnasir berkata dengan nada yang perlahan. beliau tidak! memohon[beg] tapi sekadar berpesan. mungkin beliau mahu saya pertimbangkan permintaan beliau. kata beliau, "jangan padamkan api cinta kita". di waktu yang sama, beliau tunduk seolah pilu.

saya tidak bertindak apa-apa kerana mungkin saya tidak tahu untuk berbuat apa.

deardairi,

tis is de lady in me. saya baru mendengar lagu 'it might be you' dari stephen bishop. saya impikan seorang kekasih. walau ini bukan! satu keperluan asas, jauh sekali ia satu luxury. sebenarnya, saya tidak butuhkan cinta. bukankah cinta itu suatu permainan? saya tidak! suka akan permainan yang hanya akan merugikan si pemain itu. waktu itu lebih dari emas. saya enggan! membuang waktu yang ada. saya enggan! rugi. cinta hanya akan membuat si pencinta itu khayal dan terbawa-bawa. saya enggan! leka.

deardairi,

saya serahkan segala keputusan kepada Yang Maha Pencipta. Hanya Dia Yang Tahu Segala-Galanya. saya amat berbesar hati kerna sehingga kini dan mudah-mudahan sampai bila-bila pun, saya menaruh kepercayaan yang kukuh kepada Tuhan saya. Rabbal 'alamin saya sangat saya cintai. saya tidak! gemarkan masalah tapi tanpa masalah atau ujian, tiada perlulah manusia hidup di dunia yang juga tempat persinggahan sementara di mana mereka wajib melalui dugaan demi dugaan. cara menangani masalah semacam perangsang bagi diri saya. ianya semangat untuk saya terus hidup. saya sukakan cabaran walau saya tetap! tidak gemar akan problema.

senang saya menulis di waktu ini kerna semua adik-adik saya sedang tidur. andai mereka masih berjaga, bermacam-macam ragam dan karenah mereka tunjukkan. adik saya yang bongsu rapat dengan saya tapi terkadang, dia juga terikut-ikut rentak kakak-kakaknya yang lain dari masa ke semasa. saya harap saya dapat mengasuh adik kecil saya supaya dia membesar tanpa ada kekeliruan dalam minda, jasmani dan rohaninya, insyaALLAH. aameen. adik saya yang kecil itu sangat! manja : ) dan dialah penghibur saya sebenarnya : )

saya menulis dengan berulamkan airzamzam. saya sangat suka kepada air yang penuh berkat ini, syukr ya Ilahi. sekarang, saya harus habiskan airzamzam ini dan meminum susu perisa stuorbewwi, supaya adik bongsu saya dapat tidur nyenyak. selamat malam dairi, err... selamat pagi dairi : )

ladysiti,
2.30am